Jasper and Bella’s Empathetic Escapades
by GardeniasInHand
Summary: One-shot. Jasper and Bella are bored one day and decide to have some fun with the family. Not a JxB! Rated T for language. R&R!


Jasper and Bella's Empathetic Escapades

BPOV

It had been ten years since I joined the Cullen family, officially at least as Edward's wife. It was a Saturday and everyone was out hunting. Jacob and Nessie were out at the park. Even though she resembled a teenager, Nessie still loves to go to the park. She was so happy with Jake and I had come to accept it.

I was fine with my daughter and Jacob going to the park, but right now, I was bored out of my freaking mind! I trudged out of Edward's room and down the stairs, plodding in an entirely _un_-vampire-like fashion. I wandered into the kitchen and looked around for something to do. I had been so eager to be eternally damned as Edward called it, but when your true love goes on a hunt and takes your whole family with you, it's fucking boring!

I opened one of the cupboards and pulled out a bag of coffee beans. I sniffed the bag and nearly gagged. Humans always wake up in the morning, moaning and groaning for coffee as if it's the fucking elixir of life when the shit tastes gross! I looked at the bag speculatively. Coffee machines always crush the coffee beans in order to make the coffee. Maybe I could do that. I gripped the bag and gently squeezed it. Nothing happened. I squeezed it a little tighter. Still nothing. Now I was getting frustrated. How strong were the stupid coffee machines anyway?! I squeezed the bag hard. It exploded with a bang and coffee beans flew everywhere. _Great. _**(A/N: Anyone who's seen the TV show Angel will recognize this scene. Anyone?) **I rolled my eyes at the beans that now peppered the floor.

Suddenly, I heard a snicker from the living room. I perked my ears and flitted out of the kitchen and into the living room. Jasper was sitting in one of the chairs, reading a book with a smirk playing across his face.

"Ahem," I said, clearing my throat loudly to alert him of my presence. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Having fun in there?" he asked innocently. I rolled my eyes and when to clean up the mess. It took me all of two minutes and the kitchen was once again impeccably clean. I returned to the living room, grabbed a TV controller, and flopped down. Jasper and I sat there in companionable silence for about ten minutes. I finally groaned and turned the TV off.

"Bored?" asked Jasper, not looking up from his book.

"Not at all," I said sarcastically. "I have tons to do. That's why I'm sitting around down here watching you read."

He finally looked up and smiled. He closed his book and looked around for something to do. "Hey, you wanna play Wii?" he asked excitedly, sounding like Emmett for a second.

"Wii? Seriously Jasper?"

"Fine. A simple no would suffice," he grouched.

"Oh, I have a great idea!"

He waited for me to continue.

"How about we play a joke on the family?"

He grinned widely. "I'm in."

"Cool, okay, how about we play it on Carlisle?"

"He won't be very happy," said Jasper. "Let's do it!"

"Okay, so when they walk in, let them sit for a bit, then start fiddling with his emotions. It'll be great!"

"Okay, what emotions do you want me to hit him with?"

"You pick, Jazz. Go with you instincts."

He snorted. We continued our plotting until we finally heard the crunch of gravel. The family was finally back. Edward dashed through the door and scooped me up. He sat down on the couch with me in his lap. Alice came in next. She was bouncing and practically quivering with excitement.

"Oh my goodness, Bella, Jazz, that's such a good idea. This'll be awesome!"

I giggled. Of course Alice saw what Jasper and I were planning.

"Uh, Al, what are you talking about?" asked Edward.

"You'll see," she said deviously.

Edward's face went blank for a moment, then he scrunched it up in concentration. "Stop blocking me," he whined.

Jasper and I snickered. The rest of the family looked between the three of us – me, Jasper, and a bouncing Alice – with utter confusion on their faces.

Carlisle shrugged and picked up a book. Esme snuggled into his side and they began to read the book together.

After about ten minutes, I figured it was time. Alice began bouncing again and I threw a TV controller at Jasper. He looked up at me and I nodded. He smirked and looked at Carlisle. After just a few seconds, Carlisle sniffled. Suddenly, he slumped over his book, sobbing. Esme jumped up, looking frantic.

"Carlisle, honey, what's wrong? Edward, what's happening to him?"

Edward jumped up and dashed to his father.

"Carlisle? Dad? What's wrong. What is it?"

"Edward, what's happening to him?" Esme wailed.

Esme's POV

What is happening to my husband? He was fine on the hunt, now he's sobbing for no reason. Was it something I said?

EMPOV

What the fuck!

RPOV

Oh my God! What the hell is wrong with him? It really sucks that he's all sad and stuff, but there was this huge sale and Bloomingdale's and I didn't even get to go. It totally sucks and here Dad is crying over some dumb medical journal. I swear, some people just don't have there priorities straight!

APOV

Oh my goodness, this is the best idea that Bella and Jasper have ever had! I watched Carlisle crumple on the floor and had to keep the laughter in. I looked at Jasper and almost lost it. He was trying so hard to look concerned and keep his laughter in, but he was failing. His lips kept twitching and Bella was biting her arm to keep from laughing.

JPOV

I concentrated on keeping my laughter in and I sent Carlisle waves of happiness and energy. He suddenly jumped up and grinned madly.

"Hey Emmett, you wanna play Xbox?"

Emmett just stared at him. Bella snickered.

"Whoo, lets do this!" yelled Emmett and he bounced over to the TV and turned it on, throwing a controller to Carlisle, who caught it.

"I love life, don't you?" asked Carlisle excitedly. He started bouncing up and down on the couch in a very Alice-like fashion. "I also love ponies and rainbows and flowers and waterfalls and bunnies. Oh look, peanuts!"

Suddenly, Bella doubled over and she and Alice started rolling around the floor laughing. Emmett's booming laugh permeated the air and Rose snorted. I hit Carlisle with a wave of depression and his expression darkened almost immediately. He plopped down on the couch.

BPOV

This is so much fun. Who knew that Jasper was a prankster? As Carlisle pulled his knees up to his chin, I think Edward started to catch on. He looked at Jasper and I quickly extended my shield to include Jasper and Edward in time to hear Jasper talking to Edward.

_Edward, go along with it. This was Bella's idea. I'm messing with Dad. _

Edward looked at me and raised his eyebrow. I grinned and chuckled as Carlisle started moaning that life sucked and nothing was right and that it was all dark.

"I mean, really, what do I have to live for? I'm a 400 year-old vampire. I'm old and everything is all dark. Why is life so hard?!" he howled.

"Carlisle, dear, you're just having a bad day. Come back to us sweetheart," Esme begged.

"Okay Jazz, that's enough. I think we've made our point," I chuckled. Finally, Jasper released the emotional hold on Carlisle. Carlisle looked up at Jasper and glared at him. "Son, were you messing with me this whole time?" he asked in a deadly calm voice.

Jasper jumped up and tried to hide behind Emmett. "It was Bella's idea!" he shouted and pointed to me. Carlisle turned to me slowly. I tried to control my laughter, but it was no use. Alice and I were rolling on the floor.

Carlisle growled playfully at Jasper and lunged for him. Jasper yelled in surprise and dashed for the door. He flung it open and ran outside with Carlisle right behind him. We all ran outside to see the two of them engaged in a mock fight. Carlisle was older and had a lot of experience under his belt, so to speak, but Jasper was more experienced in the fighting area. We watched the two of them circle each other and Carlisle lunged at Jasper. Jasper just stood there and let himself be knocked over.

The two of them suddenly started laughing. Carlisle jumped off Jasper and helped him up. They walked back to us, Jasper shoving Carlisle playfully.

"Dude, you got served by a old vampire," said Emmett teasingly to Jasper. We all laughed as Jasper glowered. He turned to me.

"That was the most fun I've ever had with Carlisle. Thanks for the idea Darlin'."

I laughed and followed the rest of the family inside.

"You're feeling feisty today, aren't you?" said Edward, pulling me to him.

"Maybe," I said evasively. "Come on, let's go see Jasper make Emmett cry again." We walked into the living room in time to see Jasper and Emmett playing Halo on the Xbox. Just as Emmett was kicking Jasper's butt, Jasper hit him with a wave of sadness and Emmett slumped over his controller, dry sobbing. I chuckled. Living with vampires never gets old, does it?


End file.
